Change is Hard, But it is Necessary!


I do not own the copyright for this image.

By, Crystal S. Kauffman

Many times in your life, you will need to evaluate the people who are in your life and their actual value to your life. You will need to ask yourself some important questions about their true character, before you hang out with them for even a moment.Remember, cut ties with any family and friends who are absolutely toxic to your recovery. However, some people are dangerous to your head and you need to know who they are.

These type of people will literally drain every ounce your joy and happiness, because they refuse to get help for their own mental issues. These people tend to be negative and mean, especially when you have good news Unfortunately, they will make you feel like you cannot do nothing right, because they will say negative things about you to your face. The disrespect is constant and tiresome, but you try to overlook these negative qualities because you love them.

Honestly, the pain of letting go, actually hurts less than to stay and endure this type of mental abuse from anyone around you. You may think you need someone, but you don’t need to be bullied in today’s modern society. Honestly, there is cell phone applications for all that you may need: from shopping for groceries, buying restaurant dinners or fast food, clothes, household items, delivery, and rides as needed.

Never allow someone to talk to you that way and always look out for yourself, because no person will ever love you like you love yourself, Don’t give a negative person a single second of your time, because you will end up letting their words enter your head. Don’t spend a second too long, wondering what is wrong with you because of the things these type of people say to you. Truth is, there is nothing wrong with you, they just don’t respect or value you as a person,

So, with that said, identify these people immediately and stop allowing them to enter your life in any type of way. Ask yourself about how a person makes you feel, whenever they talk to you or when they are hanging with you? Only keep the positive people around you, because you will find encouragement and wisdom from them. Now, take inventory of your loved ones today and change the narrative of your story from a negative to positive.

Copyrighted 2019

Build A Life That You Love


By, Crystal S. Kauffman

Changing your life can be extremely difficult with the many different temptations around you. Most of the time, you are far away from the temptation, but sometimes it can be right in your face. This temptation can actually be in the form of a person, who just happened to dropped by to visit you after months or years of not communicating.

Right then, you must decide how you will handle this blast from your past. Will you choose the easy way out, which is to give into temptation? However, you could also visit for a few moments and then politely excuse yourself from the nerve racking situation. Only, you can choose what you will do when you face certain daily temptations.

Be sure to keep your support system on speed dial, because giving in to temptation is not worth the amount of guilt that you will face after your relapse. Stay completely away from circumstances and situations that will challenge your strength, while adding new things that completely inspire you. Start by creating a life that makes it easier for you to remain sober, because you are doing things that you enjoy despite the degree of temptation.

Copyrighted by, 2019

Changing Your Inner Circle


By, Crystal S. Kauffman

Are you living with an addictive personality, but you are sober right now? If so, then you need to change some keys things in your life right now! Separate yourself from everyone that will help feed your addiction, as well as anyone who chooses to use drugs themselves. Chase your sobriety like you chased the high that you craved from the drugs you chose to use.

Protecting yourself and your mind from bad influences that are lurking inside your inner circle truly is the only way to manage your addictions. Family and friends can influence you in ways that any other person could not. The only way to control your addictions is to stay away from those who are actively using. Honestly, you cannot just say that their use will not affect you, because it absolutely will tempt you.

Remember that you will always live with an addictive personality and you will need to manage your sobriety just like any other chronic disease. Recovery is possible, once you become honest with yourself and others. Asking for help is so vital to becoming and maintaining a sober lifestyle. Active remove people out of your life that have chosen to feed their addiction. Don’t give up and don’t stay anywhere near active users, because you will relapse.

You know these people are no longer someone you will want to hang around. Temptation is around every corner, so be sure to keep you inner circle drug free. After cleansing your inner circle, begin adding family and friends who are supportive and will hold you accountable when you start going down the wrong path again.
Cutting active users will help you, as you begin the brutal process of healing the pain that you were trying to numb with the drugs. Don’t be afraid to get help from a psychiatrist or counselor, since mental health issues can trigger a relapse. Fight for your life and sobriety, because choosing to feed your addiction may kill you.

Start protecting yourself by cutting all contact with active drug users and surround yourself with loved ones who encourage you to stay sober. There are support groups online that you can talk with anytime of the day and night. When you are struggling to make it through the day, just remember to breathe and get through the moment of weakness. Therefore, take an honest inventory of your friends and family members before their influence can poison your mind.

Copyrighted 2019

(I am not a licensed therapist. Based on my personal experience.)

On The Road to Recovery


Ok, everything you; once loved or cared about is gone! Are you going to lay in bed and cry, while the rest of the world moves on without you? Sometimes, through our bad choices in life we become toxic to others and they decide to remove themselves from our lives to save their own sanity, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t love you anymore.

It just means, you need to focus on making better choices and rebuilding a lifestyle that others can accept. Start, by figuring out “WHO YOU TRULY ARE!” underneath the pain and shame, that covers your heart like a thick winter coat. You have you to peel back each layer of guilt, in order to find the frightened child that you abandoned so long ago.

Now, you will need to make two notebooks with simple section dividers and papers. Make each each notebook a different color and keep them near your sitting area, because you will be writing in them a lot. Look in your kitchen cabinet for a simple coffee cup to place a couple pens in, just in case you have a thought and you need to find a pen quickly.

Start, by setting daily goals in one notebook like: remembering to take your medicine or cleaning your house. Write stuff that can be achieved from the time that the sun rises in the morning until the sun sets in the evening. Next, you will create weekly goals, monthly goals, and yearly goals. Then, use your second notebook to begin in journaling your thoughts like in a journal or diary.

Unfortunately, you have to accept that your life has violently changed and that it will never be the same as it was. Your spouse or children may never comeback, but if you feel lonely and depressed all the time. Look into adopting a pet from a local shelter that needs you, but are you a cat or a dog person. Yes, there is a major difference, since a cat requires little care and a dog requires constant supervision.

However, you must be a responsible person to own a pet, because they are like children and do require daily care. You can go to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or (NA) Narcotic Anonymous meetings or church, in order to find friends that will support you on your journey to recovery. Don’t discouraged if you fail, because your loved one will notice that you are at least out there trying to change.

Whatever you do, just do ii! The hardest step is the first one and each step gets easier as long as you are moving. Find out what your problem and seek treatment, while creating new friends and new places to hang out. Don’t go back to what broke you and don’t invite more drama into your life.

(c) 2019, Crystal S. Kauffman

PS: I am not a Licensed Therapist! Based on my Personal Experience.

The White Topped Dress


By, David Wahlstrom, Guest Writer

lilly Maxwell2
©Lilly Maxwell

The world is made up of a multitude of people,

Each and every person wants to be treated equal.

There are a lot of tough times and good ones too,

However, there are so many things we like to do.

 

It is difficult to tell someone how you feel,

Nevertheless, when I tell you my love is real.

Currently, I feel like my world has faded to black,

I feel there is no one who can bring the color back.

 

I don’t feel like there is any one I can lean on,

Today, I know you are not here and you are gone.

Everything I touch seems to turn into a mess,

Since I met the girl  wearing the white topped dress.

 

©2016, David J. Wahlstrom

Build an Illness Support System


illness support 1

Have you recently been diagnosed with a chronic disease or medical condition? Are you looking for a support group, online or locally, to find a shoulder to lean on? There are several types of support groups to choose from, no matter what condition or disease you have. Many groups offer individual help in a local location and some are located on the Internet. However, you must be sure to that you choose one, which will benefit your personal needs.

Online Support Communities

Did you know there are thousands of different support communities on the Internet? They are usually open twenty-four hours a day and can be accessed from any home computer. This way, the families that are unable to visit a local group in their town, due to their condition or circumstances. Many groups offer several types of services and resources for patients and their loved ones. Before signing up, be sure to talk with the members and see what they think.

Local Support Groups

Have you asked your doctor about local support groups in your town? These types of groups will help you deal with your diagnosis or condition? In addition, you could talk to other patients or nurses, because someone will know about an existing group. After you find a group, be sure to talk to the members, in order to learn more about their mission. Unfortunately, most groups usually meet once a week, so you may want to have a separate support system.

Professional Counseling

Sometimes you will need more support than any type of support group can offer, so it is important to find a psychologist. They can help in ways a support group can not, since you may need medicine to help with depression or anxiety. Ask your doctor to refer you to someone he trusts or talk to your church minister about your needs. However, be sure to pick one that you feel comfortable talking to. This is important, because you will be discussing personal things with them.

Family and Friends

Are you close to your family and friends, who live near you? Do you have friends that will drop everything, if you need them? If, so lean on them throughout this frightening time and allow each of them to help you in any way you need. However, if you not close to your family, then it is important for you to lean on members of your support group. That is why it important to look for a group with members you can trust, just in case you need a shoulder to lean on.

Conclusion

Today, there are many avenues for a patient and caregivers to find support for those, who suffer from a chronic illness. Start by researching the best options that are available to you and your family. Be sure to find someone that you trust, no matter what kind of support you need. It is important for you to find a group that allows you to feel comfortable. Therefore, you will find the right support system, which you will need to make it through your journey against your illness..
Previously Published in 2007

©2007, Crystal S. Kauffman

Night Dreams


ImageYou been gone for so long, but I always thought you were happy with your choice. So, I walked away to keep from being crushed every day, by the reminder that I will never be with you again. I lost my best friend and my lover, but you thought I was too young and too wild. Yesterday is just a memory, yet every night I feel your invisible touch.

My life has changed in many ways, by having two more beautiful children and getting married twice. I thought I was over you, until the moment you wrapped your arms around me the other night. I felt complete at that moment, even if it was for just for second. My love for you has never died, even though I tried to move on and forget how I much I adored you.

You constantly invade my dreams and I wake up feeling complete, until I realize you are not there once again. So many years has passed, but you can see how I feel the moment you look into my eyes. What hurts is I was so close to being with you forever, but somehow I messed up as I generally do. In my dreams, you are with me and we are happy together walking the beach at night like we did on my birthday.

You actually tell me that “You love me”, even though you said you would never say that again to any other woman. My dreams are amazing but they never come true, because I am not with you. I turned to everything to ease the pain and to keep me from feeling so lost. Nothing ever dulled the pain, instead I would just cry for you more.

I wonder if I ever cross you mind or enter your dreams, especially when you are alone. Sometime dreams can be realistic, but they always seem to end and the pain begins again. I remember everything about you like your smile and how you moved the night we made love.

I felt like I was your princess and I knew you was sincere with each touch. I will never forget you and I hope that you have not forgotten me. A heart does not forget the first kiss, as we lay together in the back of your white van. Each kiss felt like electricity thundering throughout my body and I wanted more. You held me so close next to you and we spent the night just kissing and talking about our dreams.

I never wanted to leave your arms and I didn’t want to leave your side. I guess something must have broken, because you did leave my side and shattered my heart. Nothing ever stopped the way I feel, not the whiskey or the tears. However, the pain stayed and nothing ever stopped the desire to find you. I want to lay with you forever, like we do in my nightly dreams.

I am standing right in front of you and I wonder if you have the same feelings that I have for you. Age is just a number, but love is blind and I have loved you for over twenty years. I want to reach out and hold you, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. No matter what, I will always look for you in my dreams where I can show what my heart truly feels for you.

I have to let you know how I have felt all these years about you and your love you gave to me. I am older now and I have changed in my ways from learning to write and going through college and cancer treatment. Before I leave this world, I just want you to know what is hidden inside my heart. We don’t need to talk about it, but you are the light of my dreams and my heart.

By, Crystal S. Kauffman

© 2013 

Time Changes Yet Things Remain The Same


My son and I spending the day together.
Randa and Zack My son and I spending the day together.

Recently, my life has been changing in many ways that have made me assess my own life. A few of my best friends have moved to other states, which made me a little sad at first. However, we have technology like Facebook and cell-phones to keep in touch. Then, my daughter graduated from high school and has an apartment in a nearby city. She lives with one of her best friends, whom I love like my own daughter.

She has landed her first job and is now looking into getting her own transportation, which makes me so proud of her. She has been dating her boyfriend for over a year now. He is a Christian and I love him, as his is my own son. They have both made a vow to wait until they are married before having sex. I am so proud of them both!

Next, another change came knocking, my son moved to North Dakota with his father and his step-mother to start a whole new adventure in his life at almost 15 years-old. Well, at first, I took these changes pretty hard!

Now, I am embracing them in a positive way, instead of being negative. I am spending time every week with my daughter and her roommate. Additionally, I am dog-sitting their sweet puppies, until they can come up with their pet deposit they need and falling in love at the same time.

I talk to my son multiple times a day, texting, and picture messaging each other. So, I have learned that even though we live in different states or cities, we can still keep our relationships alive and growing stronger.

Changes are a part of life as a friend or a parent, but thanks to technology we can stay close to those we love and share our lives. Honestly, I am excited to see what this new chapter of my life will hold! Maybe now, I can finish my book and get published or land a job in the business communications field.

Only God knows what doors will open for me and what friends will walk beside me next. He also knows my relationships will grow in the future and how my life will change further. Currently, I am happy that my husband and I have more quality time together, since things have changed..

 

Our Vacation Last Month


Our Vacation Last Month

My husband and I after swimming in Lake Lindsey Grace in Screven, Ga. We had a wonderful time together and hanging out with my special friends from church. We spent time swimming together and my husband helped our friend fix stuff at her house. Additionally, we went out to eat and enjoyed the company of my husband, as well as spending time with my friends.

Unfortunately, we had no city luxuries like internet, television, or cell-phone signal. I missed being connected with my friends through Facebook and Twitter, but I loved the peace and quiet I discovered during our vacation. We both felt so relaxed when we arrived home, so we are planning another vacation to this area.

I am so thankful that my friend took us on the trip with her, because my husband a I have never really had a vacation together or with friends. I am hoping to go in a few weeks, so I can spend more quality time with my husband and my children. Have a wonderful night my friends. I hope you enjoy my vacation picture.